“I’m actually not looking forward to my wife having the baby. “ ’BILL COSBY LOSES APPEAL’ – Well, he is getting older” - Mike Scully If I hadn’t held my finger over his windpipe, we’d a NEVER made it home.” - Jeff Dunham Jeff Dunham Richard McLaren ‘You alright?’ ‘Yeah, but the other night after we’d gone drinkin’, some jerk played a trick on me and cut my horse’s head off. A couple days later, he was worried because he hadn’t heard from his pal, so he phoned him. The other decides to leave, but before riding home, he decides to pull a joke on his buddy and proceeds to put the guy’s saddle backwards on his horse. After having a few too many, one guy gets up and heads to the men’s room. “Years ago, when I was the opening act for Bob Hope, one of the jokes in his act always made me laugh: ‘Two cowboys tied up their horses and walked into a bar. It’s technically legal, but you can’t bring it anywhere.” - Samantha Ruddy “Dating a 19-year-old is like owning a gun in New York. “My mom will say things like, ‘Kate, I think it’s really sad when women your age hookup with these loser guys who just leave.’ And I’m like, ‘Mom I think it’s better than the days when women hooked up with loser guys who just … stayed.’ ” - Kate Willett “Do you know how you know dating is more fun than being married? People who date don’t have married night.” - Carmen Lynch “There’s no way I could handle self-quarantining without my girlfriend, because this is her place.” - Aaron Ring Aaron Ring Aaron Ring He’d give you the shirt off his back.” - Stewart Francis “Thank you Coronavirus-I have no idea who Pete Davidson is dating.” - Chris Franjola Anthony is two blocks away.’ ” - Joe DeRosa It’s always talking to me like it’s my Guido boyfriend from Staten Island. I don’t like Lyft’s tone in its text updates. “I don’t care for the way Lyft talks to me. “My boyfriend went out and bought sherry and port because apparently he plans on quarantining as Frasier.” - Kayt Hester Kayt Hester JOE VELEZ “Self-quarantine? Social distancing? I remember a time when these happened because you talked too much about ‘Star Trek.’ ” - Matt Weinhold Here are some 50 odd jokes (some odder than others) that we hope will give you some laughs. Coronavirus pandemic or not, we couldn’t let April Fools’ Day go by without an annual roundup, so The Post asked comedians and commentators - well known or not - to hit us with their best jokes, funny bits and tweets. And they're easy to teach to kids who want to repeat them to their friends.If we ever needed a laugh, it’s now. There are some old classics in there that always get kids going, but also some new zingers that they probably haven't heard before. They touch on some favorite kid subjects, like food, animals and even their names or their classmates' names. These are the most hilarious knock knock jokes for kids. That's why, when you're spending any time with kids, it's always good to have an arsenal of these gags in your back pocket to deploy at a moment's notice. And the knock knock joke format is also easy to memorize when they're ready to start telling jokes themselves. As kids get older, you can see their logic skills working in real time as they try to anticipate the answers. They offer something familiar, but with a surprise twist at the end. They're in a formula that even the littlest comedy fans can recognize. When it comes to the best jokes for kids, knock knock jokes are almost the perfect format. While you never know exactly what's going to tickle their funny bones - except, it seems, poop jokes, which are always funny to them - you can make some educated guesses. Comedy is subjective, especially when children are your intended audience.
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